Last week, I was unhappy for over 48 hours. I was feeling blocked and stuck and small and generally yuckola. Pace and I have been having some working-together-related problems, I’d gotten triggered, and was struggling with how to move forward.
I had a long conversation with Megan, during which she said, “What do you, Kyeli, want?”
I realized that I didn’t know.
I dropped everything and moved myself into our sanctuary. I plugged into Fabeku’s amazing bowl music, tumped my markers out, grabbed a sheet of poster board, and started scribbling.
Bang! In one minute, I had a huge list of things I wanted from the blog. No problems there, I know exactly what I want.
Then I moved on to a place where I have less firm ideas and more insecurity, so it was harder to get a clear grasp on what I want. I got stuck.
I hmm’d. I fussed. I got fidgety. I got frustrated. Eventually, I threw my marker down and huffed.
And then my brain exploded! (Not literally.)
I grabbed my markers and a new, clean sheet of poster board and started scribbling.
Here’s the result!
I started with a little “me” in the center, made it a flower. Then I went all around, writing things I am both good at and love to do – one or the other isn’t good enough. I made lots of connections, lots of lines, cried lots of tears, and even had a few surprises (I like being judgemental, for example – and I’m damn good at it!).
This really helped me see what I’m doing that I don’t love – and what I love that I’m not doing. It felt like a mental/emotional/spiritual shaking, and my priorities get to settle back in and reorder, reorganize into something I can more clearly see and understand.
In the past few days, I’ve started making real measurable progress toward goals I had previously set aside. I’ve brought myself more into focus – and as a result, I can more clearly see what I want.
And that makes me feel unstoppable!
If you feel called to make a mind-map, I would love to see it!