The Fallow Time

This time of the year brings challenges for me.

It’s the fallow time, that dark quiet between Samhain and Yule, where the previous year has ended and the new year has yet to begin. My internal clock slows way down, which is natural but has interesting side effects. The early darkness often brings me a sense of restlessness and a kind of loneliness. And here, where it’s 85° but dark by 6pm, all these feelings are enhanced by feelings of dissonance – what the hell season is it, anyway? Gah.

So I wind up feeling down and motionless and stagnant.

Last Friday, my dear friend Timary taught me the first two steps in crochet so I can make my own insanely cute tiny little stuffed animals (aka amigurumi). I spent over an hour chaining and then another hour doing some other simple crochet thingie – and I loved it.

When I got home, I started crying. I realized that I’ve been overwhelmed with stagnation. I feel like I’m not learning or growing right now. I’m just kind of… living. Day to day, things are great. I love my life. But I feel a general lack of growth, all too common for me in this weird season.

This year, I think I’ll move through it by finding new things I can do, like amigurumi. I’m going to exercise, so I don’t feel so sluggish. I’ll read all those books in that huge pile on my nightstand. I’ll make sure to get more quality time with my friends, and to enjoy all the special things that only show up this time of year.

Celebrate, instead of dread. That’ll do it.

What about you; do you feel similarly? What do you do to move through it – and can I help?