We asked Courtney Ramirez to be our Awesome Apprentice; she’s taking the 52 Weeks to Awesome course and will be writing us a post at the end of each month to share her experiences with us — but due to us traveling and being sick, February’s update appears in early March. But yay – here it is, and we hope you enjoy!

After a lot of progress and feeling super positive in January, this month has been meh. Working on the Awesome Apprentice assignments has – to be honest – slipped my mind a few weeks and I’m finding myself doing the assignments at the last minute before the new one arrives. I had to ask myself – does this mean that I don’t want to do this work? Am I purposefully holding myself back and afraid to move forward?

If I were – what am I afraid of? It’s not like Pace and Kyeli are asking me to walk over coals. The assignments aren’t the kind of tough love-buck up or shut up-if you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen assignments that seem to permeate so much of the entrepreneur/world-changer/self-help type info products out there. Those things are right for some people, but not for me.

So I knew that couldn’t be it. This month’s assignments were gentle and what I needed when I read them.

Why was I putting it off so long?

It wasn’t until I was reviewing my notes from this past month that I realized that – it doesn’t matter! It doesn’t matter whether I do these assignments when they first hit my “Awesome” folder in my inbox or if I wait until the last minute. In this moment I re-discovered two thing s- my tendency to overthink things and my tendency to think in black and white terms. I am working on being more mindful, in the moment and observant of what I am feeling – rather than so judgmental.

I was so pumped in January and ready for this to be a break out year of awesomeness, I forgot that awesomeness isn’t all or nothing. It’s a slow process. It took me a while to get into unawesomeness, and doing these small steps each week (on whatever day I do them) is going to take me back to awesome step by step.

It’s okay to be me – and it’s okay to wait until the last minute if that’s what needs to happen. On to a marvelous March!!