Chapter 11: Ask for what you need
“If you really loved me, you would just know!”
This sentiment reflects one of the most harmful myths of communication. This myth prevents useful communication from taking place and leads to expectations that no one could possibly meet. The broken expectations that follow cause hurt and pain. If we pull back the curtain of this myth to look behind it, we will see the truth: no one can read your mind.
When we grow close to someone, we sometimes feel like we merge together into one person. We’ve seen many of our friends treat couples as if they were one person with the same wants and needs. It happens on the inside of a relationship, too. We sometimes feel that the level of closeness we have achieved will somehow let us merge our minds together. If that were possible, we’d have written a book on mind-merging instead of a book on communication! The only way to make your wants and needs known is to communicate clearly and openly: to ask for what you need.
…and here’s the rest: