First, shoutouts and gratitude to my Enneagram mentor Aine Ni Cheallaigh. She also wrote about how the Enneagram changed her life twice, and I totally ripped off her title. (; You can read all about her journey here.
This is a love story.
But it begins as a hate story.
For most of my childhood and the first half of my adult life, my #1 goal was to be successful. Successful in school, successful in my career, successful in money. After a couple of decades of this, the screaming of my heart finally became too loud to ignore.
I started following my heart – but it came at a high cost.
I hated the old me. I hated everything she stood for and everything she was obsessed with. I hated success. I hated money.
I knew that if I wanted to quit my day job, I needed to make money doing my heart’s work, but it felt like a necessary evil. I hated capitalism. I hated the system.
Then I learned about the Enneagram.
“Do you think you might be a Type 3? The Achiever?” asked Aine.
“No way,” I replied, palms out. “Threes are vain and deceitful and greedy. Donald Trump is a 3. Threes are obsessed with success and there’s no way I’m like that.”
“Let me tell you more about Threes,” Aine said. “Threes are here to teach us about value and glory. When Threes shine, they can inspire others like no other type.”
I nodded. “That actually sounds kind of awesome.”
“As children, Threes learned that love was conditional upon performance, and if they can access unconditional love, they can radiate that light and that love and beam it out to the world.”
“Yeah, that’s totally been my struggle. And I love the image of me filling up my own heart, then radiating love and light out into the world. I’d like to see myself that way. But what about the greediness and the success-obsession and the deceptiveness of the 3?”
“Those are traps that are easy for Threes to fall into when they look for love in the outside world instead of finding it inside their own heart.”
“Oh.” I paused. “I think I’m a Three.”
This is a love story.
Today, this hangs on my wall as a reminder:
Success lives in my heart.
I don’t need to impress others to be worthy of love – but I can be both radiant and in service.
I don’t need to make lots of money to be worthy of love – but if I do make lots of money with integrity, I embody heart-aligned power.
I am loved, and I am worthy of love, just as I am, right now.
I’m filling up my own heart.
And I’m beaming this love and light out to you, right now.
The Enneagram changed my life. Twice. Could it change yours, too?
Yes, twice! Stay tuned for the story of the second time!