This morning, Pace and I got into a mildly heated conversation about work time vs. family time. We were driving to her office, so had a very limited time to discuss. It’s never good for us to have an important conversation in the mornings, because neither of us wants her to be late to work, but sometimes conversation happens.
When we got to her office, we sat in the car for a few minutes, but I could see that she was getting more stressed out with each passing moment. We got to a good place to pause our conversation, and I reached over and took her hand.
Looking into her eyes, I told her, “I know it feels like we’re not on the same team, but really we are. We both want the same things. Right now, we have different ways of getting those things, and I want one more than you and vice versa, but we’re on the same team and I know we’ll find a good way for both of us to get what we want and need.”
She nodded, and I went on. “I’m really okay right now. We can stop talking, you can go to work, and we can both have a good morning. Then, this afternoon, we can pick up our conversation and get to a good solution that will please us both.”
We spent a few more minutes touching, making sure both of us really were in a good place and could actually have a good morning. We were affectionate, giving each other physical reassurance that everything was okay.
Thus reassured, she went into her office with a smile, and I went home with a smile. We each did have a good morning, and soon we will finish our conversation.
Finding a good place to pause is often hard and rarely necessary, but when it is needed, it’s important to make sure everyone involved can handle it without feeling worse. I think we did a good job of that this morning.