I made a huge mistake, but I’m not beating myself up. Here’s why.

January 1st, 2015

On January 1st, we made a big decision.

We decided to start looking for a new place to live, but in our experience of Portland, landlords move fast. They don’t ask, “Can you move in 30 days from now?” but are more like, “Can you move in a week from today?” So if we waited to give our 30 days’ notice at our current home (we have a month-to-month lease), we’d end up paying rent on both places for most of the month.

So instead, we went ahead and gave our 30 days’ notice at our current home. But we underestimated how challenging it would be to find a place in Portland that’s wheelchair-friendly. Two of our Pantry Year goals are to help Kyeli be more empowered and in less pain. That means a new wheelchair (which will arrive soon!) and a place to live that’s Kyeli-friendly.

January 22nd, 2015

We’ve got 10 days left and we don’t have a new place to live yet. We have a couple of awesome rental agents on the lookout for us, so something might turn up soon! And if you know of a place in Portland that meets our criteria, let us know. (Here’s Kyeli’s awesome craiglist ad.)

Our backup plan is to put most of our stuff in storage and live in a hotel for a few weeks until we find a great place to live. We’ve lived in an RV before, we’ve packed all our belongings into our Honda Fit before, we’ve traveled the country and lived in hotels with no permanent address before. It’ll be an inconvenient adventure. (:

But I wanted to share this story with you because of the lesson it’s taught me about wholeheartedness.

Making wholehearted decisions

On January 1st, when I decided to give our 30 days’ notice, I accepted the consequences of that choice up front. I knew that it would mean an inconvenient adventure if we didn’t find a place quickly enough.

So I’m not beating up on myself for choosing the “wrong” thing. I’m not complaining about how unlucky we are. I made the best decision I could at the time with the information I had. I checked in with my heart, and my heart said, “Go for it!” So I know that everything will turn out okay.

Pace feeling the wild
I hope you remember this story the next time you make a big decision.

Accept the consequences of your decision up front, when you make it.

Then later, when you’re tempted to second-guess yourself, remember that you did the best you could at the time. Later, when you’re tempted to be hard on yourself for being wrong, open up to feel compassion for your past self… and for your present self, too.

This is what Pathfinding is all about. Making wholehearted choices, following your heart… and remembering to open up to compassion. It’s a simple (but not easy) recipe for a wild, crazy, meaningful life.

Here’s to the path ahead!

Feel clear and confident about your direction in life!


Do you wish you could follow your heart, but it seems impossible? I can help you find the clarity and courage you need.

In other words, I can help you find your path.