A conversation with Megan about used car salesmen got me thinking about the ethics of communication.

Where do you draw the line between ethical communication and unethical manipulation?

1. I ask you politely to please give me five dollars.
2. I ask you to give me five dollars, and whine about it endlessly if you won’t.
3. I ask you to give me five dollars, and if you don’t, I say “Jesus would have given me five dollars,” attempting to manipulate you because I know you’re a Christian and this argument will get to you.
4. I ask you to give me five dollars, and if you don’t, I say “Well, you gave Bob five dollars last week…”
5. I ask you to give me five dollars, and if you don’t, I say “Well, you gave Bob five dollars last week, do you love Bob more than me?”
6. I try to convince you to eat only salad for an entire month. I explain to you why I think it would be a good idea.
7. I try to convince you to eat only salad for an entire month. I explain to you why I think it would be a good idea, using words, phrases, and explanations that I think will move you.
8. I create a YouTube video about a cause I feel passionate about, trying to convince others to join the cause.
9. I create a YouTube video about a cause I feel passionate about, trying to convince others to join the cause. I purposely add an emotionally manipulative soundtrack to add to its influencing power.
10. I paint my bedroom red, because that makes anyone I bring home 10% more likely to have sex with me.^[1]
11. I sell a product online. The site uses colours statistically proven to increase sales but contains only truthful, dry facts.
12. I sell a product online. The site is visually bland but contains words and phrases that are truthful but phrased in a way that is proven to increase sales.
13. I sell a product online. The site contains words and phrases that exaggerate a little bit, but we offer a money-back guarantee.

Which of these examples are ethical and which are unethical? More importantly, why? Every single one is me attempting to make you do something I want you to do. But is it making you, convincing you, or just talking to you? All communication influences the recipient. Where do you draw the line between influence and manipulation?

Intent can certainly be a factor, but even if the manipulation is accidental, you’re still left with the “Honest Hal” effect.

What about the boundaries of the person you’re communicating with, if it’s a one-on-one conversation? If you’re talking to a child, or someone who is easily manipulable, does that affect the ethics of communicating in certain ways? What about whether the other person is aware that you may be trying to influence or manipulate them?

[1] I made this statistic up, but I do recall a study I read once that said that the colour red does increase arousal.