There’s always a way forward.

It’s the summer of 2012, and I’m falling apart.

I’m about to quit my day job. We’re about to sell everything we own and live in an RV. We’re in the middle of renegotiating the custody arrangements for our son. Business is doing well, but not enough yet to pay all the bills.

“Choose Peace” is my mantra. This is my iPhone background.

But it’s just not working. Usually Remembrance helps me feel peaceful, so I do more Remembrance. It helps, but the peacefulness expires quickly, and there I go again, snapping at Kyeli, neglecting to take care of myself, tossing and turning at night.

So I try harder.

I spend hours a day in Remembrance, trying to chill myself out, to connect with Source, to choose peace.

And it’s just not working.

So I play some video games. Sometimes a fun pastime of mine, this time merely an escape. And I realize:

There’s always a way forward.

In a video game, when you come across a wall that’s too high for you to jump over, there’s always a way forward.

Maybe you can dig a tunnel. Maybe there’s a secret door. Maybe you can get a boost from something else in the room.

Try everything you can think of, and a few more things to boot. Don’t give up.

Sometimes the way forward is roundabout, like “come back later when you have the jump boots,” but the jump boots always exist and it’s always possible for you to get them – some way or another.

Real life is like that too.

In real life, when we come across an apparently insurmountable obstacle, we often give up. But just like in video games, there’s always a way forward.

Maybe you can learn a new skill. Maybe there’s a different way past it that you haven’t thought of yet. Maybe you can ask for help.

Try everything you can think of, and a few more things to boot. Don’t give up.

Sometimes the way forward is roundabout, like “come back later when you have more money,” but that money always exists and it’s always possible for you to get it – some way or another.

A boss with 1,000,000 hit points

Back to the video game. You fight a boss with 1,000,000 hit points. It smashes you into dust with its pinky finger. It seems like there’s no way you can win.

But there’s always a way forward.

Maybe the boss is meant to be a signpost saying “Don’t go this way, at least not until you’re strong enough.” Maybe you need to defeat the boss with cleverness instead of brute force. Maybe you need to sneak past the boss instead of kill it.

Real life is like that too.

In the summer of 2012, I felt like I was fighting a boss with 1,000,000 hit points, and its name was Stress. None of the weapons in my inventory could defeat it. It was even immune to my magic spell, Remembrance.

But there’s always a way forward.

What if it were okay for me to feel stressed out? What if it were perfectly normal to feel stressed out with three major life changes going on at once? What if my inability to choose peace was reasonable, rather than a personal failing?

Sometimes you need to be defeated by the boss so the plot can advance. Sometimes the goal isn’t to defeat the enemy, but to surrender.

And as soon as I surrendered – as soon as I accepted my feelings as they were – I felt peaceful for the first time in months.

There’s always a way forward.

Way back when we first started our business, I was insecure because I didn’t feel like enough of an expert. I recorded a series of videos where I tried to impress people with how smart and authoritative I was. Each video was a slog to record, and our audience didn’t like them much, either. I stuck with it and tried harder, but it got more and more difficult. It felt like a boss with 1,000,000 hit points. But there’s always a way forward. My way forward was to let go of my need for validation and reconnect with what I love. And what I love is explaining things! And thus Pace Explains was born.

I defeated the boss by sneaking around it instead of with brute force.

In early 2013, I was living in an RV. It was fun and adventurous, but also stressful, expensive, and left me little time to work on our business. It felt like a boss with 1,000,000 hit points. But there’s always a way forward. My way forward was to sell the RV and move to Portland.

The boss was a signpost telling me “Don’t go this way, at least not yet.”