Our second-to-last vow was very non-standard.
to put my best effort and highest priority toward solving major problems in our relationship, and, if those problems remain unsolvable after a year and a day, to let you go.
In our modern culture, we learn the one-true-love myth. We’ll find that one perfect mate, bond, and spend the rest of our lives in bliss.
It’s a faerytale. Lovely, but not always true. Sometimes we grow apart. Sometimes we realize mistakes unrepairable or divides unbridgeable.
Pace and I love each other so much. I can’t imagine a time where I’d rather be without her or vice versa. I can’t imagine an issue we can’t work through.
But if it happened, if the time came where she was miserable and I was miserable and we tried and tried to make it better and eventually found that we couldn’t…
I would want her to go.
I want happiness for her in all things, and if our relationship no longer provided that, I would want to set her free to find it elsewhere.
And I would want that for myself, too.
And knowing that, holding that in our hearts, gives us far more space to work through things than otherwise.