Last week, our friend Jennifer Louden asked us to talk about ease. While preparing for the talk, I dug into a tough question: When is ease not the right choice?

In other words, when is it worth making a sacrifice?

Here’s my answer:

No if it’s a celebration, yes if it’s a transformation.

A wedding is a celebration. A marriage is a transformation.

Is it worth stressing out for months, pinching pennies and lowering your day-to-day quality of life, all for one amazing wedding? I say no.

Celebrations bring a big burst of happiness, but after they’re over, we’re often filled with an emptiness, sometimes even a depression. When you put so much of your focus working toward one event, what do you do once it’s over?

Happiness research proves that the little things, the day-to-day things, are what bring us the most joy. A happy life is a life made up of lots of happy days, not a life of struggling toward a few remarkable events.

But is it worth working hard and making sacrifices to create one amazing marriage? I say yes.

My marriage to Kyeli brings me happiness every single day. It’s worth the difficult conversations, the challenging compromises, and yes, the sacrifices. As our good friend Nathan said when he officiated our wedding, it’s work worth doing.

A vacation is a celebration. Moving to someplace you love is a transformation.

Imagine if you took the time and money you put toward vacations and instead put it toward something transformational, like moving to someplace you love.

Sometimes a vacation isn’t even a celebration, it’s an escape. Imagine if you could take all the energy you’re putting toward escaping from your life and instead put it toward transforming your life.

It’s not easy. It may require sacrifices. But it’s work worth doing.