Most of the role models in my life have been anti-role models. There have been several people who I loved and/or admired, but I came to know aspects of them that repulsed me. I took these experiences to heart as object lessons in What Not To Do, and they’ve had a profound impact on me. Sometimes I’ve even joked about getting “Don’t be like X” tattooed on my hand, for various X. So, without further ado, here are the nine things I’ve learned from the anti-role models in my life.

1. Don’t be lazy
2. Don’t watch TV
3. Don’t lie
4. Don’t cheat on your partner
5. Don’t live your life in fear
6. Don’t whip yourself to be productive
7. Don’t be heartless
8. Don’t stay in a relationship that’s making you unhappy
9. Don’t manipulate or use people

There are other things I’ve learned from my own self, like “Don’t change your emotions to please others”, but I’m not counting those, I’m just counting the things I’ve learned from others.

During my last Psych-K session, I realized what a powerful negative impact it’s having on my life that all my role models are anti-role models instead of positive role models. It’s no wonder I feel adrift and directionless when all I’ve internalized is a list of nine things not to do.

So, where are all the positive role models? Where do I find them? Who are some of your heroes and role models? Maybe we can share. (: