In keeping with my annual tradition (2013, 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008), this New Year’s Eve I’m reflecting on everything that’s happened this year.

In 2014, I AAAed 15 more catas. Our two favorite video games were Night of the Rabbit and the Blackwell series, which came to a satisfying conclusion. Our favorite speedrun was Skyward Sword 100% by Tlozsr and Testrunner at SGDQ. My favorite non-fiction book was What to Do When You Can’t Decide, by Meg Lundstrom and my favorite fiction book was Captain Vorpatril’s Alliance, by Lois McMaster Bujold.

In November 2013, Kyeli and I celebrated our 8th anniversary, our friend Amanda flew up from Texas to celebrate Thanksgiving with us, and Kelly came to visit for KellyCon 1. It was awesome!

In December 2013, we had a transformative spiritual staycation, I began leading a new Pathfinding Group, I tried working with a new assistant but it didn’t work out, and Kyeli and I went trampolining with Charlie, Angela, and Cory Huff. Everyone got injured but everyone recovered. We were totally the oldest people in the building. (: Last but not least, I created an epic Yule quest for Kyeli.

In January, Kyeli got hit by a car. This is when she stopped being able to walk normally, and her ability to walk continued to decline over the rest of the year. I started working with Margie & Liz, my two new assistants. You two rock!


In February, our son Dru came to visit.


In March, Dru’s cat Kady died. We celebrated Kyeli’s birthday, and I taught Choose Wisely, which will be renamed “Pathfinding 101” when I teach it next year.


In April, I started doing a couple of things to help me sleep better, which greatly improved my productivity and the quality of my life.


In May, I attended the Wealthy Thought Leader traveling coaching salon, I began another Pathfinding Group, and I spent a weekend on the coast with some of my best Portland friends, and Kyeli took her 1000th consecutive selfie.


In June, I closed Spiritual Rollercoaster Academy, and I finally reached the income goal for my business that I had been striving toward for years, which we celebrated with a trip to the coast.


In July, we spoke at App Camp for Girls about how to handle getting trolled online. Hundreds of awesome people converged on Portland, I got to hang out with a few of them, and Catherine Just stayed with us. I launched my lovely new website. I created a sequel to the Pathfinding Program, with awesome results. And Kelly came to visit for KellyCon 2. It was life-changingly rad.


In August, we gave our App Camp presentation to a new and differently awesome group of girls. I stopped using the Like button on Facebook, and I wrapped up the 10-month Spiritual Development Program with Mark Silver. It was awesome, and gave me what I needed to take the next step on my spiritual path (see October).


In September, Charon came to visit to tattoo Kyeli with her snake/rose/jewel, Kyeli got a wheelchair, and I created September Safari, a series of 30 daily photo prompts. I created it to help Kyeli stay engaged with her photography, and a few other people played along too. (:


In October, I taught One Perfect Dollar, Kyeli and I judged the annual IFComp (our fav was Creatures Such As We), I took hand as a Sufi dervish in the Nur Ashki Jerrahi lineage, and Kyeli and I got legally married!


In November, I taught my first Desire Map + Enneagram Workshop, live and in-person! Kyeli and I celebrated our honeymoon (and our 9th anniversary) by going on a sacred, heart-led road trip, and we shared Thanksgiving with our dear friends Angela and Charlie.


In December, I moved my website to a new hosting service, Dru came to visit, and Kyeli and I chose our words of the year for 2015. I created a mostly-online Yule quest for Kyeli, and you can play along and solve the riddles if you’d like! Here’s the first clue:

Your presents are all on the net.
(Except one; you don’t need to sweat.)
So give this a try:
Type bit dot l y
slash kyeli, and then the word “threat”.

In summary, 2014 was a year of struggle, surrender, and delight.

I was given enough success to keep me going, and enough failure to keep me humble. I asked myself “How do you want to feel today?” every day, and I found delight in between every crack and underneath the couch cushions.

I struggled with feeling tired or exhausted much of the time. I struggled to adjust to Kyeli’s disability and my new responsibilities.

When I responded by working more, I collapsed. When I responded by praying more, everything turned out okay. Or rather, I remembered that everything was already okay, which gave me the presence of heart to fix the things that needed to be fixed.

When I responded by turtling up and closing off, I felt even heavier and more exhausted. When I responded by reaching out to Source, to Kyeli, to my friends, and to my allies, I was encouraged and lifted up.

I kept striving hard to make my dreams come true, then remembering that my dreams are already happening. I’m doing what I love for a living. I’m married to the woman of my dreams. I live in the city of my dreams. It’s so easy to get caught up in the struggle and forget the wonder and beauty that’s happening right now all around.

2014 was a year of forgetting, of remembering, of forgetting, of remembering.

In 2015, I’m gonna build a fucking alarm clock. (;

Photos by Kyeli Smith